Happy Birthday to you!
You live in a Zoo!
You look like a monkey!
You smell like one, too!
And many more on Channel Four!
And Scoobie Doo on Channel Two!
And Live Update on Channel Thirteen by Maaaaaaarvin Zindler, Eyewitness News!
Yes, Marvin busted the Chicken Ranch Story in the 60’s here in Texas. That story was immortalized or immoralized in the play, later the movie, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Yes, it was real and, yes, Marvin broke the story.
Now Marvin reports for Channel 13 on Slime in the Ice Machine, or restaurants that don’t meet city health codes. Like ALL OF THEM!
“Fish tacos? Yes, m’am, that’s a fine choice. Fish tacos for your, sir? Very nice choice. Cockroach Souffle? Our specialty! Would you like our Salmonella Sauce? Yes? Very good, you’ll be raving about it for weeks.”
So, me and Marvin were wondering what you wanted to do for your birthday? Go to the State Fair in Tulsa, Oklahoma?
Yeah, maybe you didn’t hear the question. We were asking if you wanted to do something FUN. No kids, lots of alcohol, some farm animals and a gallon of vegetable oil.
No, huh. You’re going to the Fair. Foot long corn dogs, cotton candy, bar-b-qued turkey legs.
OK, how about this: No kids. Lots of alcohol. Foot long corn dogs with double D-cells, cotton candy thongs and a bunch of guys with Turkey Legs.
What? You are such a difficult person to please! ( and the juvenile response would be “that’s what SHE said” which I won’t repeat )
So, here’s to you on your birthday. You are not a year older, you are a year wiser. I am a better person for having known you than not. You will succeed in anything you do because if anyone or anything gets in your way you will shout at them. And, most importantly, Twelve Two Two Fondue would be Zero Zero Nowhere without your inspiration and support.
So, with a glass of wine raised at this very moment, here’s to you, my friend and colleague, on the anniversary of your birth. Live long and prosper. Inspire those around you as you have inspired me. Be faithful to yourself and confident in your abilities. Drive safely in spite of that reputation you have (which is legend or legenedary, I don’t know which). Continue to take care of your family and friends because we can’t do it ourselves. And, at last, be you. We know Amy and our lives are enriched by you and what you do. You are an inspiration and in the Grand Scheme of the Universe, that’s pretty good.
All the best to you, Amy, and I speak for the entire Planet when I say Happy Birthday!