PizzaNet

Am I the last person on the planet to have ordered pizza over the Internet?

I've been in a pizza mood lately, something to do with the phase of the moon. I woke up this morning and my first thought was

"Boy, I'd sure like a hot cup of coffee and a slice of pizza."

(Memo to Special K people. Two words: pizza flavor.)

So, this evening as the moon peaked over the horizon looking like a large pepperoni with anchovies and extra cheese, I fell prey to primitive urges and started looking around the kitchen for the phone number to Papa John's. I'm sure many of you out there have that number memorized, but I don't. It's on a yellow Post It note.

Somewhere.

After a few minutes of fruitless searching I thought, "D'oh! I can get the number off the Internet. Mmmmmmm, Internet..."

Off I scurried upstairs and after a few chops on the keyboard Google served me up Papa John's website complete with phone number and order button.

Order button?

What is this "order button?"

Well, nothing kills my appetite faster than a new button on a website so I pushed it and was launched into the Land of Customer Information which I expertly navigated with a few clicks and like an apparition appearing before my eyes was a screen full of pizza thumbnails.

"Mmmmmmm, thumbnails....."

"Order me! Order me!" they all screamed.

I clicked on "The Works," hit Confirm and seconds later my email dinged with a confirmation note. Delivery in 30 minutes.

That's it? Yep, that's it. I went downstairs and sat by the window like a lonely hound dog waiting for its master to return. Sure enough, right at 30 minutes a pizza delivery car pulled up to the curb and Dinner was Served.

"Sign here," Pizza Delivery Guy said.

"No prob," I enthused, "I ordered this pizza over the Internet. All by myself."

"All by yourself, sir?" Pizza Delivery Guy said uncertainly.

"All by myself," I said proudly, "on the Internet. I've got an Internet upstairs." And I pointed up the stairs.

Pizza Delivery Guy slowly backed down the sidewalk saying, "That's freaking awesome, sir, freaking awesome." He got in his car, locked the doors and drove off.

Kink the Kat was sniffing around the pizza box anticipating a handout.

“Whaddya think about that, Kink? Pizza over the Internet.”

Kink gave me The Look, then said, “I can has pizza?”

And we did.