The lesson learned from the Great Gas Project (still on-going) is that our documentation was woefully out of date.
“Our documentation.” Read that, “I lost track of stuff. It’s my fault. There, I told the entire Internet! Happy now?”
Anyway. Blame it on the paperless society but over time we put our bill on auto-pay and our statements on some email account lost to obscurity.
Today I resolved to get things in order. First, a trip to the Gas Service Company (“service” is our middle name!) website.
I tried to login using a variety of email addresses and passwords but nothing worked. In desperation I tried the oldest email address in recorded history and several tumblers fell into place. Then I keyed in the oldest password in recorded history and the vault creaked open.
But not completely open. There was a toll to be paid.
“Welcome valued customer! Since you haven’t accessed this site in over 12 months we’ll have to ask you a few security questions before you may pass. Press OK to continue.
Question 1: What is your horse’s name?
Answer: I don’t have a horse.
Answer: Sea Biscuit
Incorrect. Three attempt failure. Next question.
Question 2: What is your second cousin twice removed mother’s maiden name?
Incorrect. Three attempt failure. Final quesiton.
Question 3: What is Junior Sample’s phone number?
(Ohh, ohh, I knew this one.)
Incorrect. Answer is case sensitive.
Answer: Br 549
Incorrect. Three attempt failure. Your account has been locked. To unlock your account call the Gas Service Company Customer Service line. Thank you and have a nice day.
“Well, isn’t that special,” I thought. Looking through the website I found a link to Customer Service and a toll-free number. I dialed it.
Welcome to the Gas Service Company Customer Service service. For English, press 1.
Please listen carefully as our options have changed. To report a leak press 1, for billing enquiries press 2, for rate plans press 3, to reset your password press 4, for all other inquiries press 0.
To reset your password press 1, for all other enquiries press 0.
Enter your account number followed buy the pound sign.
Enter your street address followed by the pound sign.
Enter your phone number followed by the pound sign.
Enter your account number for verification followed by the pound sign.
To reset your password confirm by pressing 1.
Our business office is currently closed. Please call back during regular business hours Monday through Friday, 7 AM to 9 PM Eastern Standard time. Thank you have have a good day.
Slowly I turned...