Sunday, May 04, 2008

I See What You’re Saying

A friend of mine suffering through “manager problems” not unlike a case of the shingles speculated that his manager might be deaf.

The manager, we’ll call him “Bub,” short for Beelzebub, has a favorite expression: I see what you’re saying.

What? I SEE what you’re SAYING?

It should be more, like, I hear you, dude! Yeah! Right on! Peace out. Fist bumps.

I see what you’re saying.

It doesn’t make any sense which is why my friend is having problems. My friend is speaking and his manager is seeing. Definitely a conflict there.

I suggested my friend hold up a sign that says “You Idiot!” every time his boss is an idiot, but in the end we decided to opt for Plan B.

Shouting. Plan B is to shout “You Idiot!” We’ll see how it goes and if I hear anything I’ll report back.

I’m all for shouting. Solves many problems.

All this brings us to the subject at hand who is Sandy the Cat.

Sandy is a 12-year old cat who has suddenly gone deaf. Well, mostly deaf. I think he hears “Ironman” when I play it on my Klipschorn concert hall speakers at level 9 which I don’t do often because I have to replace several large windows and that gets expensive. He hears that, only just.

Not that long ago Sandy could hear a can of cat food being opened at 100 paces. He’d come running. Now, I have to put a bowl of food under his nose for him to notice.

I’m not all that sad for Sandy being deaf because he’s always been a highly strung cat. Small noises startled him and big noises scared him totally. Sandy hated the vacuum cleaner and would hide in a closet for most of the day. Thunderstorms tortured Sandy and even the closet wasn’t deep enough for him to hide. Loud music would chase Sandy under the bed.

Now that Sandy is deaf his life is considerably more peaceful. You can run the vacuum cleaner in a room where he is sleeping and he won’t budge an inch. Thunderstorms? Pish! He watches the lightning with interest but doesn’t flinch a muscle as the rest of the house shakes on its foundations.

Living with a deaf cat has changed our lifestyle a little. We try not to sneak up on him, which, of course, is dead easy! Rather we try to appear in front of him, especially when he’s sleeping, and gently tap him on the back. We stomp around when we approach him because he can feel the vibrations.

The strangest behavior that Sandy exhibits is around mealtime. He knows when food is being prepared for him, possibly because Kink is jumping around like a maniac. Sandy can’t possibly hear a can of food being opened, but he regularly appears in the kitchen when I’m getting cat dinner prepared. More often than not Sandy will trot down the stairs or saunter in from the living room just in time for his favorite grub.

Sometimes I wonder if Sandy is faking it. Maybe he’s not really deaf but jacking us around.

Yeah, jacked around by a cat.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

8 comments:

kansas daughter said...

Dad - Sandy is 14 years old now. Not 12. He was 12 two years ago. :)

Bill said...

Well, if he was 12 two years ago then he'd be 14.

What's that in dog years?

Foo said...

I'm pretty sure the only way I'd ever be able to tell if a cat was deaf is when it no longer reflexively twitched an ear in my direction when I made a noise. Because you they sure don't show any other sign of hearing when I speak to them.

John said...

He is a very handsome fur ball!

dana wyzard said...

ORANGE cats! My favorite. I saw my orange cat trotting through the house carrying the bathtub plug on a chain. (the OLD type of plug) That was 20 years ago and I never did find that plug. EVER.

AND, YES, I'VE CLEANED THE HOUSE SINCE THEN.

Rubbish Parent said...

That looks like a cat that Knows Stuff.

Quasi said...

Jacked around by cats? Nah. Impossible. (Although you kitties out there might want to read The World Is Your Litter Box just in case it is possible.)

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