This can’t be the end of the decade because I distinctly remember standing on the balcony, popping champagne corks to welcome the New Year 2000!
That was yesterday. Wasn’t it? WASN’T IT?
Could nine years have gone by like pfffffffft without me noticing?
We’re getting into serious digits in this 2000 thing. This is the Last Year of the Single Digit and it won’t come back for a long, long time.
It’s the Future, you know. Should be.
Stupid Future. Always teasing, never quite delivering. I’ve got a miserable cold. Stupid cold. Where’s the stupid cure for the stupid common cold? Huh? Should be easy. Been talking about it for a couple of centuries.
We can go to the Moon but we can’t cure the common cold. NASA’s fault. If we hadn’t gone to the Moon I wouldn’t be feeling miserable. Stupid Moon. NASA would have cured the common cold and I’d be complaining about not going to the Moon. Fair trade, I’d say.
And, speaking of NASA, where, oh, where are the freaking Anti-Gravity Belts? How am I expected to gain a steady 10 pounds a year without Anti-Gravity Belts?
Just this week, Jack-in-the-Box came out with a new “tasty treat” consisting of a hamburger, order of fries AND ...
... and, and, and ...
How cool is that? A full hamburger lunch PLUS a couple of tacos just in case you have an empty space to fill between your larynx and esophagus. Just tamp ‘em down. That will probably go down as the Great Invention of 2009 and they year is young!
Oh, and I checked, no Anti-Gravity Belts. Now, that would be a fun Happy Toy. And useful.