Twinkie

Twinkie the Wonder Fish.

Mere words can't describe this animals tenacity to life. I admire Twinkie. He's a survior.

But, not for long.

Twinkie is dying. He's on his last legs, if he had any. Twinkie is hanging in there, though, and as long as his gills are flapping I'll tap on his tank and drop in a few flakes of his favorite chow.

Twinkie came to our house about nine years ago in a water-filled Zip Loc bag. A tiny snip of a goldfish, Twinkie was about the size of a Pepperidge Farm Goldfish; hardly a child's knuckle in length.

That day we went out to Walmart and bought an actual goldfish bowl, holding about 4 cups of water. Twinkie was plunked in and the bowl was placed on the dresser in Claire's room. Claire, after all, brought Twinkie home from the birthday party and named him. It seemed reasonable that she should keep him, feed him, and all that stuff.

We gave Twinkie odds on a week to live.

A month later I was in Claire's room doing something like putting away laundry or changing a light bulb or just walking throught the room because I felt like feeling disgusting wading through her toys, candy wrappers and who knows what, when I caught sight of a bowl full of black water.

What's that?

I peered into the gloom and a brief flash of gold caught my eye. Good grief, Twinkie is still alive! The water had evaporated down to about a cup of opaque, thick sludge, through which poor old Twinkie wiggled around.

Twinkie had grown. Twinkie was now a knuckle and a half in length.

I went out to Walmart and bought the next size up goldfish bowl. We put some colored rocks in the new bowl, added fresh water, put in some chemicals that do something to the water to make it "goldfish friendly" and transferred wiggly old Twinkie to new digs. He seemed pleased and darted around his new home. Also, we moved Twinkie from the Claire's Dungeon to the kitchen where he could get some light and look out a window.

"Looking out the window" was my idea although it is ridiculous that a fish would appreciate looking out a window, but he seemed happy so there he sat for a year or so.

One day during breakfast I noticed that Twinkie could barely turn around in his tank. He was now two and a bit knuckles in length.

I went out to Walmart and bought the next size up goldfish tank. Note we have gone from bowls to tanks. This trend would continue.

To shorten a long story, Twinkie continued to grow and thrive. We went from a 1 gallon tank to a 5 and ultimately to a 10 gallon tank. We also invested in a number of pumps, filters, bubblers, plants, fish toys and, ultimately, medicines as we discovered that goldfish could live for 30 years or more. Hell, Twinkie will outlive me!

Alas, that is not likely to be the case, although at one time I thought Twinkie was damned near invincible.

The Empty Tank

One day I got up for work and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I always passed by Twinkie's tank and would give him a pinch of goldfish food.

This day the tank was empty.

Now, an empty fish tank is something you really do a double take on. I looked in and no Twinkie. I was like "Huh?" I looked again and, sure enough, no Twinkie. I was like "Wha?" Helen was already in the kitchen and as I formed the sentence "The fish tank is empty. Where's Twinkie?", Helen let out a little yelp and I looked down on the floor. There stuck to the tiles was a dead fish. Twinkie had jumped out of the tank, flopped on the counter and fallen to the floor where he died in the air. A horrible death for a fish. There he was. Dried scales. Eyes fixed. Tail stuck to the floor. Gills flapping.

Gills flapping?

I reached down and picked up Twinkie. His gills were definitely flapping. Weakly, but moving. I broke his tail when I picked him up, but I placed him in his tank nevertheless and he floated there on his side, drifting to the current generated by the tank pump, his gills flapping ever so slightly.

After a few minutes he twitched a little, righted himself and started swimming around! I couldn't belive it. Twinkie the Wonder Fish survived who knows how many hours on the kithen floor only to be rescued and revived in his tank.

I went to PetSmart and bought a screen for the top of the tank to prevent him from jumping out again. Twinkie continued to thrive and grow for many years finally growing to six knuckles in length and two finger widths in thickness. People visiting us would remark on what a bodacious fish Twinkie had become. His most luxurious asset was his tail which was large and grand. In his prime Twinkie was a hansome fish, indeed.

The past year has been tough on Twinkie. He's had a series of diseases that would have killed lesser fish: septacemia, fin rot, ich and something we haven't been able to determine that has reduced many of his fins to black stumps.

Now, Twinkie the Wonder Fish is a shadow of his former self. His color is pale, his fins are in tatters and he hangs in the tank nearly lifeless. However, he responds to a tap on the tank and still forages for food.

Twinkie. He's not down yet. He's survived Claire's room, cats, a 600 mile journey when we moved, cats, jumping out of the tank, cats, diseases, water changes, tank changes, cats and cats.

Here's to you, Twinkie. Salute! Hang in there and do not go gentle into that good night.