Sunday, May 01, 2005

Mayday

May 1st. Don't tell me it's May 1st! It can't be. What happened to January through April?

It doesn't even feel like May. I'm sitting out here on the deck grilling some pork ribs on the BBQ using Arthur Bryant's BBQ sauce (Thank you, KC Girl for the tip. I ordered some the same day you posted your comment.) , direct from the factory, from their doorstep to mine, and two things are downright weird.

First, it's cool. According to my Tiger Weather Widget that I just consulted it's 70 degrees, although it feels cooler. I don't mind the heat or the humidity, but I really appreciate cool in May. Cool, man!

Second, there are no bugs. That's probably connected to the cool thing, but sitting out here in May not drenched in sweat and bug spray is quite remarkable. Texas bugs seem attracted to bug spray. Unless you're glowing with the stuff the bugs are going to find the little patch you missed. I've had mosquitoes drill through my shirt and pants, through the webbing of chairs; they are relentless.

I think I'll sleep in the back yard tonight. I hate to pass up great camping weather here in south Texas; especially with no bugs!

I am not a bug person. Some people are and they become either entomologists or exterminators. I'm in the middle and would like to live my life bug free, thank you very much. Over the years, however, I've learned to co-exist with my 6 and 8-legged friends. Yes, I refer to spiders as "bugs", too, and I know they're not considered insects. So, sue me. Anyway, you can't live in Houston if you're wigged out by bugs. It's a losing proposition.

The true test of my resolve came a few years ago when I spent a week at a Scout camp west of Houston. No bugs west, I thought. Dry, hot, it's gonna be great.

Wrong.

We were assigned these large wall tents to sleep in. A wall tent is what you imagine an Army tent to be. it's huge. Supported on either end by 8-foot poles it's like a giant pup tent, with flaps on either end for entry and exit. Along the top is a ridge pole that gives the tent its classic "A" shape.

Well, I opened the flaps to my tent, walked in, looked around, and was greeted by what looked to me like a thousand scorpions.

I don't know about you, but to insect-challenged me, the scorpion is like the King of the Dreaded Insects. What could be worse? Six legs, armor plated, stinger. Oh, yeah, and a stinger. Did I mention the stinger? Let me confirm that...a stinger.

At my advance the scorpions beat a hasty retreat down the floorboards and up the sides of the canvas. The first night I think I slept a few minutes.

However, by Wednesday I had named all my scorpion pals and we had lengthy conversations into the night. So, cool stinger. Do you sharpen it much? I found that if I left them alone they left me alone. We did have that one discussion with the little critter who tried to hitch a ride on my shirt, but that was a case of miscommunication and we cleared that up right away.

Since that week I've been more tolerant of our 6 to 8-legged friends, although I still have some work to do with the mosquitoes.

The Weather Widget tells me that it's down to 64 degrees. Looks like I'll have to put an extra blanket on the bed.

4 comments:

Bente said...

Oh dear, I think I'd of high tailed it out of that tent. I don't mind bugs too much, but when they can potentially hurt me badly I have a little problem with them being in my space.

Anonymous said...

I almost feel bad for you and your 64 degrees, but it's 32 degrees and SNOWING here in the Twin Cities. Brrr! Where are my wool socks?

sunny said...

Personally, I'm pretty mellow about most 6 to 8 leggers, except when it comes to the ones who eat my blood. You know, the ones who get their nutrition from sucking the essence from me. Those ones aren't so high on my list. I'll never cup a mosquito in my hands and take it on the porch to "be free", that's for damn sure.

And don't get me started on ticks.

Last summer, I was at a friend's house. After a party that day, the house was simply swarming with mosquitoes - and just imagine my delight when they all seemed to be attracted to yours truly. I tried to justify my little dance of the wiggins, saying, "I just can't stand things that suck my blood!" No one responded, so in typical selfish fashion, I assumed that no one had heard, repeating myself in a few minutes. This time, I was louder, "I just HATE things that suck my blood!!"

My friend looked at me. "Really? That's weird, cause I just looooove them."

traca said...

You are more of a man than me about it. I can handle almost anything, but the 8-legged ones. I am such an arachnophobe it is ridiculous. I live in Central Florida, so I am miserable a lot. Spiders just suck.