Phone Calls

*ring* *ring*

Yello, this is Bill!

“Hello, this is Hillary Clinton.”

Yo, Hills, wazzup, babe?

“Today is a very important day.”

Yo, Hills, every day is an important day. I live by important days. Today, the pool guy comes. That’s important. I got to shop. That’s important. Yo, I hear you, girl!

“You can make a difference.”

Yo, Hills, I make a difference every day. I’m out and about with my crew and we’re making it, you know, a difference. We’re doing things, like, differently. Just today, for example, I ordered a TALL coffee of the day instead of a GRANDE coffee of the day. My contribution to the atmosphere. That’s different!

“It’s important that you participate in this process.”

Hey, that’s what she said! Get it? Oh, well, yeah, you’re right as usual. I need to get out there and express my opinion. I’ll need lots of spray paint for that. Thanks, Hills, for the encouragement.

“And, remember, it’s not who you vote for but that you vote.”

So, you think it’s OK if I vote for the other guy? Hills? Hey, Hills, are you there?

*click*

Hills, baby, how can we have a relationship if you keep hanging up? You’re, like, stressing me out.

[some time later]

*ring* *ring*

Hello?

[pause]

It’s for you.

Who is it?

John McCain.

Again? OK, put him on.

Yo, John-meister, what up bro?