Finally Over...Not!

My daughter called tonight to tell me that next week is Finals and then it's Over.

"Yep, Dad-0, finals will be over and I won't have to go through that again."

"In your dreams," I thought, "In your dreams."

Tonight, I'm sure I'll have The Dream. I've had it or variations a thousand times. It's long and boring, but undoubtedly the best part is waking up.

It goes something like this. It's Finals Week. I wake up and I've got a test to take. Something strange like Sanskrit Quantum Mechanics. I get dressed, or not. Sometimes I'm wandering around campus in a bathrobe looking for the room to take my test. Sometimes I'm just wearing boxers...or briefs...or less. I'm always barefoot because I notice signs that say

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service, No Graduation

I look down and my shirt is gone, too.

The room for the test is always at the end of a long hallway. Let's say, for example, that the room number is 206. The hallway will end with room 205.

As I'm wandering around campus looking for the room it occurs to me that I only attended class on the first day. I meant to drop the class, but never got around to it. (Actually, this is closer to real life than I'd care to admit!) What the heck, I've already got a degree, several, in fact, I think. OK, well, why am I here at university taking another test? Oh, yeah, to get another degree.

At long last I find a skateboard and boogie down the freeway grinding along guardrails, leaping over cars and hanging ten. Remember, no shoes. I keep going down the freeway on my skateboard because I can't find the exit to take. I know it's exit 310 but after I pass exit 309 the freeway ends, I'm surrounded by blue fish and Lawrence Welk is asking me to dance, but when he sees my bare feet he shakes his head and says,

"No, you won't do at all! Why, you can't even read Sanskrit!"

I wake up in a sweat, very, very grateful.

Ah, yes, daughter of mine, I'm so glad Finals is Over for you. Sweet dreams.