Whenever I travel in a new city I always enjoy the traffic reports even though they mean totally nothing to me.
This report makes sense to me because I've lived in Houston, Texas for nearly 20 years: the Gulf Freeway is backed up all the way down to NASA One and traffic is normal around the Loop with some congestion at 290. Coming in from Katy it's backed up at the Beltway but clear to the north. Time from The Woodlands to downtown is about 45 minutes.
OK, that report covers a lot of Houston which is approximately 60 miles by 60 miles square. Yep, it's that big. On a good day it takes you an hour to cross Houston east to west or north to south.
It takes some time here to learn the short names like "Loop" and "Beltway" and where they are in reference to other parts of the city. Katy is to the west, The Woodlands are in the north and NASA One is down south. So, if I hear that the Gulf Freeway is backed up ... who cares! I live in the southwest and it doesn't affect me at all.
And that brings us to a "foreign" city. The traffic reports are the same and sound like this to me:
Oh, don't get on the Krufker Parkway this morning, it's a par-KING-lot. Better to take the 20 down to Planters and across to the Parker and up the 9 to 10 and merge to 70.
Uh, right. Where am I, Siri?
*boing* Where am I Siri? I don't recognize "Where am I Siri." I suggest you are in a certain creek without a paddle.
My advice is to stay in the center lane, follow the big truck about half a mile ahead and when he changes lanes, you change lanes.
Krufker Parkway? Really?