Thursday, July 20, 2006

Blog Clog 2

Beware Inspiration summer is here! As I reviewed my pitiful blog-not output for July my willpower and resolve suddenly kicked into high gear inspiring me to do…nothing. To the sounds of lawn mowers in the distance and the pitiful screams of money being annihilated like antimatter by the air-conditioner straining to maintain the temperature indoors at a comfortable 42 F, I faded into unconsciousness (again) my ultimate thoughts being “Mañana, there’s always mañana.”

So, dusting off the old Writer’s Almanac I checked out the Handy Hints When Inspiration Doesn’t Strike chapter and read the following:

1. Write a review.

Capital idea, I thought. A review. That should be, er, exciting. Let’s hope. Turning to the archives I checked out what was happening one year ago.

Blog Clog

Well, isn’t that special, writer’s block isn’t a disease; it’s an Annual Holiday. Great. I hereby decree that all writers shall take off the month of July every year and save our readers a lot of frustration by not getting their daily dose of withering wit and insightful insight.

Write a review. To summarize this idea would be to write about writer’s block, which defeats the purpose of writer’s block to begin with, so why bother?

I turned the page.

2. Tell a secret.

OK, this isn’t so much a secret as it is a Law of Nature. The quickest way out of a supermarket is to select the most experienced checker even if that queue is longer. The reason? Produce. You have to learn to Pick Right.

Blah! Inspiration, Golden Snitch thou, eludes my grasp! I have no secrets; the advice is dross.

I turned the page.

3. Describe what’s happening at this moment.

I listened. Lawn mowers, leaf blowers, edgers, trimmers and saws. Lots of lawn care going on and no wonder. July in Houston and the grass grows behind you as you mow it. I looked out the window and the Lawnmower Man was doing his thing. Who wants to read about lawn mowing? Restless, I turned the page.

4. Take a nap and try again another day.

Finally, some good advice!


s'kat said...

Option 4 seems to be working for me... at least, the napping bit.

Shalee said...

Sigh. And I was so looking to a post from you... :)

Anonymous said...

i KNOW?!! What is with the grass growing 8 feet a minute right after it's cut. Jeesh.

And, you have secrets. They're just being kept from you.