Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Other Shoe Drops

A guy came into the store the other day to buy a pair of shoes because that’s what we sell in the store, shoes, but also shoe accessories like shoe laces and socks and such like. But, you know, I sell shoes to executives and that’s what I was hired to do here at the shoe store, to sell shoes to executives so I’ve got that executive shoe experience that’s so desperately needed in shoes sales, and such like.

Shoe sales, well, it’s all about the health of the shoe sales people and the shoe buyers and let’s not forget our friends the shoe makers who make our shoes and provide them for our feet. I just love working here in a small shoe store because small shoe stores have always been pro-feet and that’s where you get a real sense of shoe-ness and feet-ness, in those small shoe stores there.

I have been asked what is my experience in television sales and I can truthfully say that my executive shoe sales experience has prepared me well for television sales, too. Why, just across the mall, you see, just past the Sunglasses Hutch, right over there is the Television Store and you can see it from here. The Television Store people are our neighbors and when that Television Store manager goes for lunch guess where he walks? You got it, right past our store and if he ever decided to try to sell televisions in our store I’d use my executive shoe experience to tell him what was what, you betcha!

You keep your televisions over there, Mister Television Store Manager, I’d say!

And clothing, too, there are all these gaps like the Income Gap and the Housing Gap and the Generation Gap, and, then, there’s The Gap. But, you know, it all comes down to jobs. Jobs, jobs and jobs. Oh, and trade. Let’s not forget trade. Trade need not be a scary thing! Why, one in five jobs are in trade although, for the life of me, I have no earthly idea what these people do. Trade, I guess!

You’re probably wondering how I keep up on things and, well, I read everything in the Mall and such like. Everything. All the posters and signs. Just this morning I saw an announcement that Macy’s was having a 50% off sale on expensive, red leather designer jackets. Only $3,000 each! I’m going to pick me up a couple of those, for sure, and such like. What a deal!

Oh, and the guy who came into the store to buy a pair of shoes, well, it turns out he wanted to buy some sandals which are sort of anti-shoe so I suggested he might be happier with a television and he went over there.

All’s well that ends well. I always say that!


clairef said...

Don't forget to mention Baby Gap, it's the best one.

P.S. What?

Anonymous said...

LOL it!

Scott Johnson said...

What a great post! One question, though. Who's the woman in the picture who looks like an oompaloompa from the first Willy Wonka movie?