Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Ouch, No and Owww!

Kink the Kitten is a well-trained little cat. At a mere five months Kink has learned how to ask for food (bite my ankle), how to ask to play (bite my ankle) and how to go outside (bite my ankle).

What a smart kitty!

New with Kink is sharpness. He is sharp in mind and claw. I caught him the other day sharpening his claws on a tree, after which he honed them to razor sharpness with his teeth.

Silly me, I thought he was flossing.

Not so.

Witness the following recent conversation:

What happened to you?


What do you mean “nothing,” you look like you went through a shredder?

Just a scratch.

Looks like a zillion scratches.

Please! It’s not like I get a transfusion every day. I mean, once a month, isn’t that the norm?

What’s to be done with a sharp, playful kitten with razor sharp claws and teeth and did I mention sharp?

Number One: Avoid confrontation. When confronted with a sharp kitten, the sharp kitten will win. Back away slowly and chant “Nice kitty, nice kitty.”

Number Two: Feed often. A fat kitty is a slow kitty. A fat kitty is a sleeping kitty. However, the corollary is a fat kitty is an energetic kitty. (See Number One)

Number Three: Assert yourself! You’re the king of the house! Act like one. Failing this fall back to Number Two and Number One.

I’d write more but I have to staunch a recent wound to my ankle. And feed Kink who’s looking a little famished in spite of my blood dripping off his left fang.

1 comment:

Susan said...

Kittys and bulldog puppies, it seems of which we have three. That is 12 paws, 60 nails, and 3 sets of jaws that resemble pirhanas gone wild.

I think we both need to invest is a really huge file. That'll show 'em!