Friday, May 13, 2005

Sleepless in Wherever

I woke up this morning and my arm was asleep.

Maybe my arm woke up the rest of me. I haven't figured out how all this works. Anyway, my arm was this dead piece of meat, although it was tingling like "Hey, I'm alseep!"

You know, I don't remember a time when I woke up my wife and said "Hey, I'm asleep!" Just doesn't happen.

So I pick up my arm because it can't pick itself up and I attempt - this is an important point to pay attention to - to bring it across my body so it can be in a more arm-conducive position, when I drop it.

Yep, my fingers just give up, go on strike, not my problem, going back to sleep themselves, drop the arm.

On my face.

Now, I don't know how many times you've dropped your arm on your face but you can do the experiment right now! Just hold your arm over your face, close your eyes and let your arm drop.

Aw, chicken? No wonder. Your arm weighs 3 pounds! Drop a frozen chicken on your face and you're talking about 3 pounds.

I dragged my arm off of my face. I'll cook you later, dude.


Anonymous said...

I hope your nose is OK! And I'm sorry, but your pain made me laugh out loud.
--Anonymous Gen

nick said...

Bill, been there more than once, I'm sorry to say. I must have bad circulation or something, cuz I put my arms to sleep almost nightly.

The worst though, is when you fall asleep, face down in your pillow, and wake up with your arms underneath you - mostly cuz your wife has taken all the covers and you're trying to stay warm - and completely asleep. try rocking your body back and forth to get your arms out and your face out of your pillow without smothering yourself. nice...