Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Starbucks Traffic Controller

Radio frequency ID’s are little tags that can be placed on just about anything and read by a scanner, not unlike the EZ Tag I have in my car that automatically sucks money out of my bank account every time I use the toll road.

Man, I got to get me one of those!

When rfid’s are available for humans I’m going to be the first in line.

Why you ask?

Well, the first company that’s going to make use of those tags will be Starbucks and I want to be ready.

To appreciate this fully consider the now and then airport situation.

In the “now” you trudge your way through Security, the Starbuck’s kiosk in sight. Finally, after getting your shoes on, repacking your stuff and getting organized you approach the kiosk and stand in queue behind the Lady With The Giant Handbag. Three days later after she’s finally found the penny she “knew was down there somewhere” you order your Coffee-of-the-Day, black, pay with exact change and make your way to your gate.

In the rfid future the airport will be covered with sensors that can track your every movement. You will be a blip on a screen and tracked by professionals. Through your cell phone you will be able to place your Starbucks order and transmit your Personal RFID to the Starbucks Traffic Controller who will guide your approach to the kiosk.

Wearing a Bluetooth earpiece you will experience something like this:

STC: STC, Bill-1351 you are clear to proceed to Concourse C.

Bill-1351: Bill-1351, STC roger that.

You make your way towards Concourse C. Your RFID is transmitting your position to Starbucks Control with every step.

STC: STC, Bill-1351 advise congestion at Junction Alpha-Niner, high school volleyball team. Suggest you descend to Ticketing Level Two and proceed to Junction Baker-Deuce.

Bill-1351: Bill-1351, STC roger that. Descending to Ticketing Level Two.

Neatly avoiding the crowd blocking your way to Concourse C, you confirm with control that you are on time and on schedule.

Bill-1351: Bill-1351, STC descent complete, approaching Junction Baker-Deuce and on track for arrival at SB-kiosk Kappa Sigma in zero three minutes.

STC: STC, Bill-1351 roger that. STC, SB-kiosk Kappa Sigma do you copy?

SB-kiosk Kappa Sigma: SB-kiosk Kappa Sigma, STC copy that. Coffee-of-the-Day, black positioned at bay door. Activated. Awaiting acquisition. We are green to go, repeat, we are green to go.

STC: STC, Bill-1351 SB-kiosk Kappa Sigma is go. Repeat, SBK-KS is go.

Bill-1351: Bill-1351, STC roger that. I have them in sight. Deploying arm, hand open. We are go for pick-up. Approaching target. Approaching target. We have positive acquisition. Repeat. We have positive acquisition.

And with that you snatch your coffee from the deployment station and move on down Concourse C without missing a step. Through your rfid the cost of the coffee is deducted automatically from your account and you’re good to go.

STC: STC, Bill-1351 nice job, bud, have a good flight. STC out.

Yep, I’ve got to get me one of those!


Anonymous said...

You're brilliant! I should forward this post to Starbucks HQ to get them rolling on your idea. Really, they should be paying you!

Anonymous said...

OOH! What if we could use the electrical impulses running through our bodies to transmit a signal with our Starbuck's Preferences and order to the nearest location. All they'd have to do is confirm our order.

Or, I could just pull over on any given street corner.

Anonymous said...

Oh sweet jesus, that was funny! i really need to stop reading this at work..my coworkers are starting to wonder what the heck I am laughing at. :)

kilowatthour said...

hilarious. i am SO on board with this.

MF said...

My inner 8 year old wants to go steady with your inner 9 year old.

Amy said...

Ah Bill, you've done it again. The perfect solution (minus the boring black coffee). How is Starbuck's to make any money if you only order 3 syllables worth? A vente sugar free hazlenut latte, whole milk, would be worth the RFID investement. I'm in!

Anonymous said...

Love it!