Monday, October 31, 2005


BlueTooth is the greatest technology not to catch on in the Twenty-First Century.

No kidding.

BlueTooth has been around for almost as long as its Viking namesake Blue Tooth. We all hope his name was due to being smacked in the face during a fierce battle and not due to a piece of spinach on his front tooth that his colleagues were either too polite, or terrified, to point out.

Yet, BlueTooth isn’t everywhere. It should be, it’s that cool.

All my clothes should have BlueTooth built in. All I’d have to do is pick out a shirt from my closet and it would communicate to all the matching garments which would light up. I’d dearly pay for such technology if only to never again hear:

“You’re not going to wear that shirt with those pants, are you? Seriously, now, you’re kidding, right?”

Yep, BlueTooth could be my salvation.

Those BlueTooth cell phone headsets are pretty cool, too. Talk about the Star Wars look! How cool is that? Well, it’s that cool. I wear one of those headsets even though my phone doesn’t support BlueTooth. I like walking around with a piece of blinking plastic in my ear.

It’s a babe magnet, too.

However, BlueTooth has its own pitfalls as illustrated by this conversation I had just the other day. It went something like this:

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Er, fine. OK, I guess.”
“Yeah, yeah, OK, uh-huh. Whatcha doing for lunch?”

“Oh, I dunno. Grab a sandwich, I guess.”

“Uh-huh, yeah, OK. What’s happening at Bob’s house this weekend?”

“Bob? Uh, which Bob is that? I think there’s a BBQ planned.”

“Yeah, right, OK, uh-huh. When you getting off work?”

“Well, the usual time, I guess, around 5. Why do you ask?”

“Hey, honey, I can hardly hear you. I’ve got some weird-o jabbering away right in my ear. Inconsiderate creep. Call me back later.”

And with that, the stranger strode off purposefully to the salad bar. I overheard him say to a workmate

“See that guy there? He was yaking in my ear while I was on the phone. How rude is that?”

I’d been BlueToothed. How rude is that?


Anonymous said...

okay, I don't know what the heck blue tooth is, but that was freaking hilarious. Did you actually do that? That is one that's going down in my list of the top ten public humiliations that I"m going to blog about any day now. hahahahaha. I'm laughing still. That is totally something I would do. I'll have to learn from your mistake, and be on the lookout.

On the other hand, I like those ear pieces, cause I talk to myself on a regular basis, in the car, etc. And now, instead of people assuming I'm crazy, (I am), they assume I'm talking on a headset. so there ya go. even if you don't have one, they come in mighty handy.


Anonymous said...

Nothing says jackass like those stupid Trekian earpieces.

Anonymous said...

I had a similar situatuion in the bathroom at work. I went in to use the urinal and there was someone in one of the stalls.

As I walked in, he said "Hey."

There was no one else in there, so I assumed that he must be talking to me; I thought maybe he was suffering from a paper shortage, and needed some help. I was still a little unsure, so I didn't say anything.

As I stepped up to the urinal, he spoke again.

"Hey, man."

This time I was sure he was talking to me, so I opened my mouth to respond. Just as the first trickle of "Yeah?" escaped my mouth, he started in again.

"Not much, I'm at work. What are you doing tonight?"

It was then that I realized he was multitasking.

Bret said...

The best part is how I can replicate my calendar to yours (range is 150 feet) without you knowing it. Bwaaaahahahahahaha!

Babe magnet. I'm still laughing over that one.

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