Monday, April 02, 2012

Hot Rib Job Fail

OK, I'll admit it. I cook by gut feel and by the feel of my gut I do a pretty good job. There is no such thing as standard food.

Well, actually there is. The McDonald's hamburger bun is mixed, risen and baked to bun after bun perfection with nearly 100 billion buns produced all the same.

Very. Little. Variation.

In fact, years ago McDonald's bakeries contracted Japanese rice cooker scientists to develop "fuzzy logic" algorithms to help produce an even more Perfect Bun. Still, the Master Baker pokes the dough at some point and pronounces it "perfect" enough for McDonalds.

If I had known all this I would have bought their burgers, thrown away the disgusting insides and just eaten the buns!


Not so my ribs smoking. I think the ribs are pretty much standard, at least, the pig hasn't evolved to the point where ribs are Quite Different when purchased at Kroger's. Baby back ribs are baby back ribs unless they're on sale in which case they are Dinner For Tonight ribs!

So, the variation in my rib smoking technique, ignoring the wood I use, boils down to the dry rub and the basting mixture.

Since I cook by gut I don't keep a diary or record of my dry rub mixtures. I just grab some of this and some of that, smash it on, dry the ribs in the fridge for a few hours and smoke them.

Thus, the deviation I made substituting Chipotle Pepper Chili powder for paprika may have been a contributing factor to ribs that were a little tangy to the tongue. A little peppery to the palate. A little risqué to the rear end the next day, if you get my drift.

Note to self: not so much chipotle chili next time.

Second Note to self: who are you kidding? You'll never remember the previous note.

My most successful ribs came from using a "standard" rub mix that I found on the Best Ever Ribs I Ever Smoked website, or something like that, and I made a big batch which I went through over the course of a year. No complaints that year.

Third Note to self: No complaints is a good thing. Not taking you for granted.

Is there a lesson learned? Who knows. Certainly there was a lesson but whether it was learned or not time will tell.

However, I'm home next weekend and ribs might still be on sale and with a little begging I might get another chance.

Now, there was that discouraging comment heard last night, "Have you ever tried smoking cod?"

Oh, that hurt.

No comments: