Sunday, August 07, 2005

MS Food 1.0

You've probably seen those gags that satirize what X would be if Microsoft built it.

The Microsoft Car:

A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that year instead of before it.

Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this.

You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car XP or a Car 2003 (even though it's 2005). But then you'd have to buy more seats.

Apple Computer would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice as reliable, and five times as fast - but it would only run on 5 percent of the roads.

And other Microsoft products:

If Microsoft made shoes, they'd spend billions on marketing and pennies on the actual product.

If Microsoft made wine, they wouldn't wait until it was time.

If Microsoft made candy, it'd include a coupon for a "Microsoft Partner" dentist.

If Microsoft made maps, Redmond and Washington would be disproportionately large compared to the rest of the world.

But the question is, what's the food really like at Microsoft? I mean, if you actually went there what would be your real experience?

Well, I'm here to tell you that there are two things at the top of the list for Microsoft workers: food and fitness. Yes, it's true. And let me tell you a few more things about the folks at Microsoft, taking into account that I do not work for the company, rather I've been there and seen this with my very own eyes.

They take their food and fitness very seriously. At a recent Microsoft "customer event" we feasted on salmon and asparagus, wheat berry salads and lentils. We savored blue cheese with walnuts, grape tomatoes with feta, haddock and mango chutney. Desserts were balanced with fresh fruit offerings and always copious quantities of water. For every coffee pot there were three herbal tea pots. That was the typical food.

In fitness the Microsoft corporate campus invites walking. Situated on a hilly site in Redmond the numerous buildings are connectged by tree-lined trails and walkways. Backpacks replace briefcases. Running shoes substitute for wing tips. And most employees don't even know how to use an elevator. I think there's a volleyball game that's been going on continuously for 20 years. Maybe it just seems like 20 years!

So, that's it. Food and fitness. What a concept!

1 comment:

schmims said...

This post has been too techincal for me. Marit changed my masthead. I couldn't get the spots back if I tried.