Saturday, August 27, 2005

Questions Questions

Learning to answer questions correctly is an important survival skill.

Take for example the following question:

"How long are you going to let that box sit in the kitchen?"

Now, there are several answers one could make to this enquiry, each with their own set of consequences.

"Well, I thought I'd wait until the box sprouted legs and moved itself somewhere else."

That's sort of a long version of "Huh?" Batten down the hatches because the storm's a-commin'!

Or this:

"You mean that box there?"

An attempt to prolong the agony. Yes, of course, that box there, you idiot and now, you see, it's getting personal.

Or this:

"It doesn't bother me that the box is there. I'll get around to moving it in a year or so."

Now, that's a truthful answer but it's all about me, isn't it? Helloooo, is there anybody else in the room?

Which leads to the correct answer which is this:

"Oh, my bad, I've been meaning to move that box but, you know..." followed by "Hey, tell you what, I'll move the box then we'll go out for some dim sum. How's that sound?"

Priceless. MasterCard. It's everywhere you want to be. Or whatever.

The moral of the story is to always involve food in addressing the transgression.

'Nuff said.


Tom said...

Instead, go to the store, pick up a chunk of Romano or kasseri cheese, eggs, flour, lemon, and, of course, you got to have brandy! Go home, heat up a pan to whatever you like to cook stuff at. Mix up an egg or two and some flour in a small bowl. Dip thick slices of the cheese in the egg batter, then throw a chunk of butter in the pan, and get frying the cheese. Do that thing till it's brown on both sides. Take it out before it burns and put that brandy on and light it up until the smoke detector goes off.

Bill said...

I got hit by a wave of comment spam. Just clutters the kitchen, you know.

B said...

Food is good. But, "I'll give you a cookie if you move it for me" never seems to go over quite as well as you think it would.