Thursday, March 20, 2008

Back to Back

“Reverse engines one-quarter, Mr. Sulu. Back us out.”

“Aye, Captain, reverse one-quarter impulse.”

I’m always in command of the USS Enterprise when backing out of a parking slot.

So much more exciting than being the driver of the Ford Explorer when backing out of a parking slot.

Imagine Sulu putting the Enterprise into “R” then craning around to see if it was clear to reverse, scanning for hazards. No, that would be Spock’s job.

“Sensors read an unidentified vessel approaching astern,” Spock interrupted, “ramming speed!”


“Exact configuration unknown, Captain, but it appears to be a late model BMW of the 741 class.”

“BMW 741? They have no regard for human life. We’d best avoid. Mr. Sulu, forward one-half impulse. We’ll wait in space dock for the threat to pass.”

“Mr. Spock, do you think the BMW 741 has seen us?”

“Negative, Captain, the pilot seems to be totally oblivious.”

“Totally oblivious. That’s good. Park us in space dock, Mr. Sulu.”

“Aye, Captain, forward one-half. Easing into space dock.”

“All stop.”

“Aye, Captain, all stop.”

“Spock, report!”

“Captain, the BMW 741 is moving off. We are clear.”

“Good, that was too close for comfort. Mr. Sulu, take us out, AGAIN, at one-quarter impulse.”

“Aye, one-quarter impulse. We are clear of space dock.”

“And if there are no objections gentlemen, and lady, take ‘er home. Warp factor 5.”

“Course laid in, Captain, warp 5.”

Captain’s log, star date 20032008, memo to self. Repair aft phasers at earliest opportunity.


Jodie said...

My cat Bee-gee (french accent required) says hey to Kink. She loved to purr on my left shoulder and prevent me from typing with two hands... claws digging in all the way. We're glad to see you're back in the blogging business. It was a long dry stretch and we thought you had given up blogging for good. But the thought of seeing Dooce & Co. must have gotten you typing again. Welcome back!

Bret said...

Who was it who said bloggers are geeks? Where do they come up with such stupid things?

Snooker said...

You are not alone.
I've done this many times, in fact my best friend and I would have the same conversation ... well, without the Beemer... Usually it was a VW Bus or something.