Out of Time

I found out why the kitchen clock stopped working!

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Twelve Two Two Fondue Seven Live!

Watch it live on Ustream!

Twelve Two Two Fondue 7 - Soon!

Hopefully, we will be streaming the Seventh Annual Twelve Two Two Fondue party, aka Flamingo Fling, tomorrow starting around 4pm CST.

See you at: Twelve 22 Fondue TV

Also, check out our sister party in Las Cruces: New Mexico Fondue

I'm melting with anticipation!

Heard on the Phone

Hey, you got home OK?

Yeah, it was quite a trip. I had to go east to go west and my luggage went to Chicago and it was a mess.

Oh, well, I'm glad you finally got it sorted out.

Well, it would have been a whole lot better if you had sent a private jet to pick me up.

Long pause. Uh, OK.

Sad But True

Some things you can't make up. Overheard at a local restaurant:

Diner 1: Ugh, after Christmas I'm going to become a vegetarian!

Diner 2: Not me! I am strictly carnivore.

Diner 3: I'm quite happy to be an omnivore.

Blonde girlfriend of Diner 3, slapping his arm, exclaims: You are so not an omnivore! You'll eat anything!

Me: *facepalm*

Orangette

My good friend, Molly, is the most talented person I know. She writes a blog, writes a column in Bon Appetit, runs a restaurant and authors books. Where does she get all this energy?

I think it's from Orangette, which is the name of her blog!

I decided to make orangette this weekend. I needed oranges, sugar and chocolate. What could go wrong with that!

Here's the blueprint:

Oranges
Sugar
Chocolate (semi-sweet drops did the trick)

Cut off the orange peel into strips. Boil them in water for 10 minutes. Refresh the water and boil them twice more. Meanwhile make a sugar syrup out of 3/4 cup sugar dissolved in 1/2 cup water. Boil the peel in that for about 15 minutes. Remove peel and place on a rack to "set" for about a day. They say an hour, but it takes much longer for the peel to dry.

Then dip the sugared peels into melted chocolate and you're done. It's messy.

Kink's a Winner! (We knew that.)

From my friend Jerry Coyne's blog. Jerry, a kat lover, ran a contest to provide a picture and a 250-word story about your favorite kat. I wrote about Kink, of course, and who wouldda thunk it, Kink won! Here's the posting from Jerry's website:


Kitteh contest winners!

December 11, 2010 – 10:08 am
I’ll announce the three winners of the kitteh contest today: the first two runners-up this morning (they’re in no particular order), and then the grand prize winner this afternoon. Winners: be sure to contact me via email to claim your prizes.

As I said, the celebrity judges had a hard time. There were about 85 entries, many of them awesome. Thanks to Miranda Hale, Russell Blackford, and Ophelia Benson for making the difficult choices. I’ll be highlighting many of the other entries over the next few months.

The first runner-up (and by “first,” I mean “presented first”) is the combination of Doc Bill (human) and Kink (cat). Remember that each entry comprised both a picture and a story. Here’s Doc Bill’s:

My Best Friend

On the day I brought Kink home we stopped at the veterinarian’s office. Poor little Kink, barely 4-months old, had been poked and prodded all morning long and now had to suffer one more indignity before going home.

Doc Geoff pronounced Kink a paragon of fitness.

Putting Kink back into his travel container I commented idly that I needed to swing by the grocery store to get a box.

Geoff looked at me over the tops of his bifocals and asked, “Why?”

“Well,” I replied somewhat uncomfortably, “don’t kittens live in boxes until they can, uh, get around?”

Geoff regarding me as if a Bocydium globulare had landed on his knee said, “I suppose.”

We made our farewells and, shortly, Kink and I were home. Doc Geoff’s voice, however, was lodged in my skull, “I suppose.” Over and over.

That afternoon Kink made himself quite at home eating cat food until he could hardly walk, running up and down the stairs and playing with all the cat toys. He took a couple of cat naps but was ready for bedtime when we all turned in.

I walked into the bedroom with Kink and said, “You know, I think he’d feel more comfortable if he slept with us for a few nights.” I placed Kink behind my knees where he purred himself to the Land of Nod.

Four years later he’s still there and I can’t imagine it being any other way with my best friend. Thanks, Doc Geoff.

This is a picture of Kink on his first day in his new home:

Twelve Two Two Fondue Seven

Coming to a house near you!

Yes, you can host your very own Twelve Two Two Fondue at your house, invite your friends, have fondue and celebrate.

This year the International Fondue party will be held on all seven continents!

Ours will be broadcast on Internet TV, details to follow.

Meanwhile, get the cheese, get the pot, get the booze and get the friends and get ready for

Twelve Two Two Fondue Seven!

Not Again!

I remember distinctly when I took down the Christmas Tree.

I checked it carefully for any missed ornaments. I emptied the water from the stand and blotted it dry. I hauled the tree to the street to be picked up by the recycling crew. I carefully dismantled the stand, dried and oiled the parts and put it away for another year.

I did all this ... yesterday.

Yesterday!

What, are you kidding me, that was nearly a YEAR AGO??? No way! Can't be possible!

But, there I was this afternoon hauling down the well-oiled Christmas Tree stand from its lofty perch in the garage and afixing it to our 2010 Christmas Tree.

I'm sure I'll have a dream about afixing the stand every night for a month, only it won't be a dream. How does this happen? When I was a kid the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas was an e.t.e.r.n.i.t.y. We had time in school to get all revved up about Christmas by making presents, decorations, practicing Christmas shows and all sorts of things. Now it's put up the tree, put up the tree and put up the tree.

What happened to the time? How do I slow it down? How do I stop it!!!

This is an observation, not a complaint. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love the lights (even the Santa Helicopter next door), and all the confusion and joy. It's a great time of year. And I get to play Christmas music, although I'd play it year round given the chance.

Putting up the Tree again? I can't hardly wait!

(Neither can Kink!)

Insane Storage

My new camera, a Nikon D3100, produces pictures (at full resolution) that are 3.2 Mb each. With this chip I can store about 10 pictures.

Ten thousand pictures? Are you InSaNE? Are you cRaZY? Are you NUTZ?

It wasn't that long ago that a cassette of pictures was 12, 24 or 36. And you had to send it off to be developed. Double prints? Yes, please!

(Ah, that's going to cost you a pretty penny!)

Now, you can take 10 pictures for every 1 you would have shot back then and either keep them, discard them, print them or send them off to be printed, or publish them on-line in a variety of ways.

Where will it end? Cameras that shoot pictures at the atomic level? Time will tell.

No Mo NaBloPoMo

Finally, it's the end of November!

Sort of like where did November go? And, yea, it's the end of National Blog Posting Month.

The next big event is the International fondue party on December 22nd. Get it, Twelve Two Two Fondue. Never mind, just be there, OK?

Biscuits Better

I had a leftover to deal with. Turkey and stuff in a soup. Well, leftovers and leftovers. What to do? So, I thickened it with a roux of flour and butter, then whipped up a batch of biscuits and baked the whole thing.

The result? Sort of a turkey pot pie topped with biscuit.

The reviews? Rave!

I'll put this in my book.

Oops!

I was thinking to myself, "This is stupid. You're going to hurt yourself."

Right before the Kitchen Devil serrated bread knife sliced over the top of my knuckle.

Ohhh, that's gonna sting, was my next thought.

Kitchen Devil 1, knuckle skin 0

My Dinner with Molly

I'm not a cyberstalker but I play one on TV.

That makes no sense to anyone born after 1970, I'm sure.

That said, I have a lot of virtual friends, people I've "met" over the Internet and with whom I've had many electronic exchanges, some very lengthy, but who I have never met in person. I don't remember the first person I met through the Internet but I remember the first most famous: Dr. Jill Tarter, director of SETI and the inspiration for the Ellie Arroway character in Contact by Carl Sagan and the movie by the same name, Jill being played by Jodie Foster. Well, one degree of freedom from Carl is pretty good right out of the chute! I wrote to Jill after reading an article in Science that provided her email address. It was a whim, and I was astounded when I got a reply. A very nice and thoughtful reply. We had a few exchanges and that was that.

My first Internet Fling!

Inspired by this success I boldly went where no electronic pen-pal had gone before and contacted, when possible, people who piqued my interest. Imagine my astonishment when the Poet Laureate wrote me a personal poem. And so it went.

Now, back to today's subject which is Molly. Molly is Molly Wizenberg who writes the Cooking Life column in BonAppetit magazine. I met Molly through her website, Orangette, and in time got willingly conscripted to help her test recipes for her upcoming book. My task was to follow her recipes exactly and not improvise. Out of character I assure you! But, I did it and what I learned was that Molly's recipes worked! I didn't need to improvise.

Which brings us to tonight. I'm doing Molly's Lentil Soup. Smells good and I'm looking forward to snarfing down the whole thing. I'll provide the recipe later but right now the timer went off and it's dinnertime!

New Nouveau

The new Nouveau Beaujolais is out and it goes down smooth.

First Thanksgiving

It was grand.

Rather, it was unexpectedly grand.

Eons ago, before the Internet, when we still got information from papyrus and clay tablets my friends in England where I was living at the time asked me if I could cook them a traditional American Thanksgiving dinner. Well, after eight pints of beer anything is possible so I agreed, "Sure! No problem! We'll have a feast to remember!"

Several days later I was reminded of my boast to roast and I was hoist by my own inebriated petard.

But, fearless is as fearless does and I set out to buy the stuff of stuffing and other stuff. I got a turkey, potatoes and plenty of wine and beer. If this didn't work out I hoped at least to create a Fog of Success.

I had no kitchen at this time, you see, and I would be cooking at a friend's flat. When they asked if Mark 4 would be a proper temperature to cook a turkey I said "yes" with more assurance than I felt. The only thing I remembered, dimly, about cooking was a Rule of Thumb: 20 minutes a pound plus 20 minutes. In short, although that's pretty short, it means: cook until done.

Well, to make a long afternoon short I produced my very first Thanksgiving Dinner in an unknown kitchen for a bunch of graduate students and friends. We had the turkey which we cleaned to the bones, mashed potatoes (my first attempt), candied yams (lots of guessing but no complaints), local vegetables cooked by my host and sous chef, all preceded and followed by copious amounts of liquid depressants.

Thanksgiving. Seriously, what can go wrong? Friends, family, food and drink. It doesn't matter if the turkey would be approved by Betty Crocker and the decorations certified by Martha Stewart. What is important is the day, being thankful that one has friends and food and drink, and to take pause from the Rat Race at least for a few hours to reflect on what is really important in life.

Happy Thanksgiving to All.

Ready to Launch, er, Lunch

T'was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring except me and Kink in the kitchen cooking the midnight stuffing.

Here's the blueprint:

1 nosey cat
ground sausage (sage and hot)
Spanish onion
chopped celery
garlic
rubbed sage
chicken stock
cornbread
some chopped baguette
this and that
don't forget the chopped pecans
don't add anything weird like squid or "parts"

Cook, mix, pack lightly into a baking dish and cook at 350 for an hour or so, or less. Cool, refrigerate until the next day and use to stuff the turkey and serve as one of a million side dishes. Don't make enough for leftovers to prevent fights.

Kink and I are sitting here, smelling the stuffing cooking and already it's looking to be a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. Thyme will tell.

They Gather for the Feast

Thanksgiving is upon us again. My favorite time of the year. Cool, crispness in the air. Autumn leaves. Chance of snow.

Or, as we say here in Houston, warm moist Gulf air, high humidity, hello Mr. Muggy and a certainty of condensation.

Preparations have started already. Lists are being made. Recipes discussed. Should we do something new? How about a tofu turkey? Uh, that gets voted down every year and I think it only gets discussed so it can get voted down.

The gathering this year will be much like previous years: giant turkey, trimmings to feed an army and enough wine to float a navy.

And, I'm sure after three or four rounds of my Famous Bean Dip appetizer someone will be in command of the air force.

Just saying.

Queso

You can dream it ...

... or you can have it.