Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Not So Yucky

I like mushrooms.

You don't.

Does that make you an idiot?

Well, yeah! Duh! (uses several hundred Italian hand gestures for Whassamattayou???!!!???)

The Houston Chronicle published a little story under their topic Who Gives a Rat's Ass on "Foods People Hate."

I thought it would be an article about eating insects, spiders, centipedes, snakes, worms and creepy-crawly stuff from the ocean. What, however, were the foods people hated?

Well, let me qualify that. It turns out that the "people" polled were little kids who hardly qualify as People. I mean ... really!

So, back to the story. Here's the list of Hated Foods. Read it and weep.

Yes, weep my children for these wonderful foods who are apparently tortured by boiling to extinction, mishandled, bent, folded and mutilated before being served as "food." Even the most expensive cut of meat or treasured truffle can be ruined by the clod masquerading as the chef.

Anyway, here's the list:

Button Mushrooms
Lima Beans
Brazil Nuts
Pea Soup
Hard Boiled Eggs
Raw Onions
Raw Oysters
Oyster Mushrooms
Brussels Sprouts

OK, restrain me, now, but Cute as a Button Mushrooms?

Who. Could. Not. Like. Button. Mushrooms?

More to the point, what are people doing to the yummy, cute as a button mushroom to give it such a bad rap? It's impossible to overcook. The mushroom soaks up flavor like the little sponge it is. I'm shocked, I am.

Beets? Been there and done that. I'm well over my beet phobia and it was only a matter of preparation. I am One with the Beet.

And, Brussels Sprouts? Again, I can't imagine the torture that sprouts undergo to become a hated food. Oh, well, yes I can.

I can imagine people being picky about raw oysters, liver and okra, but raisins? Yams? Hard boiled eggs?

If that's the case we have some serious culinary damage going on. Somebody needs to do something!

And, I know just who that somebody is. In the next few weeks we'll take a look at each of these "hated" foods and separate fact from fiction, yummy from yucky and sauce from sauced.

Yes, there will be some 'splainin' to do.


Anonymous said...

My mother was an expert at turning perfectly edible and delicious food into something more closely resembling toxic waste. The only button mushrooms we ever saw were from a can of brine, where they had been left to soak for an aeon or two, rendering them rubbery and slimy and tasting like sea water.

As for the brussels sprouts, they were so bad that I would often be left alone at the table long after everyone else had finished their meal, fighting to finish the blasted things, and gagging on every mouthful. I had to resort to Cunning Means, and wasn't found out until years later when my parents moved house and found dozens of dried and shriveled sprouts hidden behind the more boring books in the dining room book case.

I love mushrooms now. Still can't bring myself to eat a sprout though.

Jodie said...

I found a few of my hated foods on the list: liver, brussel sprouts and raw onion. I've never gotten over the fact that brussel sprouts taste like cabbage. I hate cabbage and turnips too.

Anonymous said...

Everything on your list I like. I dislike most Indian food. I hate black licorice, chickpeas, and sometime peas (especially when mushy). I loathe French onion soup.