Sunday, November 20, 2011

Chair Man

My bed is like a reclining chair that only reclines; unable to un-recline. A horizontal chair. I heart my un-un-reclinable chair so much that I spent 8 solid hours in it last night.

Worn out by that experience I hauled myself into the kitchen and plopped myself down in my chair at the kitchen table. Whew, I needed a rest from that experience. A few cups of coffee later I was ready to slip into the living room where my reading chair lives.

My reading chair is a nice, Danish leather un-reclinable but perfectly suited to my needs, i.e. to sit in a chair.

Time went by quickly, though, and I had to cut my daily reading short because I had places to go and people to see. I transferred from my reading to my car chair.

I love my car chair. I mean, it's a chair that moves. It's on four wheels, has an engine, is fully enclosed, comes with a radio and goes zoomity zoom. I'm on a special journey today, to the airport. Fortunately, I've heard they have chairs there.

At the airport I was not disappointed. They had room after room filled with chairs and at my appointed room I found a chair next to the window where I could watch the airplanes come and go. Soon, however, my number was called and I moved from my airport lounge chair to my airplane chair.

My airplane chair was much like my car chair, but a lot less complicated. I didn't have to actually drive the airplane, just sit there and enjoy the ride. Not that I mind driving and in a few hours I'd get a chance to do that when I transferred to my rental car chair.

I got a really cool rental car chair with a satellite radio. How many chairs have a satellite radio?

Finally, I arrived at my destination. As I hauled my stuff into the house my host greeted me and said, "Hey, man, good to see you! Can I get you anything?" I looked across his living room at that great big La-Z-Boy lounger and said, "If you don't mind, I'm exhausted. I think I'll take a load off in that chair over there. Comes with a beer, doesn't it?"

Yes, I am the Chair Man.

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