Friday, November 06, 2009

No Comment

I am not going to comment on the fact that Christmas decorations are up at the Mall. The giant tree which, I swear, they took down in July is back up. Why bother? Why not just leave the thing there year round.

I am not going to comment on the fact that Kroger's had Christmas plates, glasses, candles and cards on display a full week before Halloween, however, not a single Trick-or-Treater dressed as either Santa Claus or a reindeer. (Did get one retro Ninja Turtle which was refreshing.)

I am not going to comment on the number of house decoration company trucks I've seen in the neighborhood. No sooner was the Harley riding inflatable skeleton deflated than Frosty the Snowman rolled into view.

I am not going to comment on Gourmet Magazine going out of business after 70 years, once again teaching me the lesson of never subscribing to a magazine, even one you've subscribed to for over 20 years, for more than one year at a time. Hopefully Mr. Google will be a source of recipes for Baked Armadillo with Fireant Stuffing.

I am not going to comment on the golfer who hit the side of my house and when I went outside he hit a ball to almost exactly the same spot. I learned two things about that golfer. One, he has a bad slice. Two, he has no friends because as they drove by in their carts I shouted over the fence, "Which one of you morons has the bad slice?" and his "friends" ratted him out with gales of laughter, derision and what sounded like dog noises.

I am not going to comment about the effect of beer on golfing.

And, finally, if asked if I have my Christmas shopping done yet or even started my standard reply will be,

"No comment."


Anonymous said...

Merry Thanksgivoween!

RubbishParent said...

Is the Evil Child Hating Santa back again this year? Jess used to enjoy giving him a bright smile and shouting "Merry Christmas" to him just to see him glare. Then she'd whisper "He's not the real Santa, he's a composter".